In order to communicate your empathy, it is necessary to ask questions. Your questions need to be neutral and obviously geared toward soliciting the other person’s viewpoint.
Of course, asking questions can be done in a manner that would increase rather than decrease the level of confrontation. Some guiding principles: 1) Ask questions that have answers which are simple facts. 2) Avoid the use of 1st-person or personal pronouns, and 3) (Sgt. Hilan Priddy’s favorite saying) “Do not use the words that spring most readily to your lips”.
Unfortunately, it is much easier to come up with examples of the wrong way to ask questions than it is to show the correct way. I will discuss some bad examples when I get to the summary.
